


Lifting You Up

by Luckyrabbit1927



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dib and Zim have been living together at the base for a while now, Dib is 18 and so is Zim, Dissociation, Established Relationship, He's just trying to cope with it, Invader Zim Valentines Day Week 2021, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentioned REM sleeping disorder, Panic Attack, Self-Esteem Issues, Zim knows the truth about his mission, other characters are only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29070714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luckyrabbit1927/pseuds/Luckyrabbit1927
Summary: After several months of living together and being a couple, Dib wakes up one night to to find that Zim isn't there next to him. Concerned, he searches the lab for his missing Irken, only to discover that he and Zim might need each other more than either ever could've anticipated.
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 59





	Lifting You Up

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my Invader Zim Valentines Day 2021 prompt! I've been working on this for a few weeks now, and I'm so excited to be able to finally publish this! I hope it's worth the wait!

“Ugh… Zim? You there?”  
  
The lack of the usual weight on the other side of the bed was the first sign to Dib that something wasn't right. Confused by this odd disturbance, the human's dark brown eyes slowly opened to find the space beside him completely empty. Dib’s vision was bleary and confused as he sat up a bit, turning to peer at the alarm clock on his nightstand. Though his brain was awfully slow when it came to processing the bright red numbers, understanding them didn’t really improve his current mood whatsoever. If anything, it only made things worse.

_3 a.m? Seriously? What the hell, Zim?_

Ever since Dib had permanently moved into the base a few months ago, he'd discovered the hard way that the tiny Irken was actually a very fitful sleeper, no doubt stemming from his past history as a soldier, as well as what Dib was increasingly suspecting to be some kind of Irken equivalent to REM sleep disorder. There'd been countless nights of him waking up to sharp little toes digging into his side, Zim mumbling in his sleep, or even multiple bruised ribs from the alien's frantic kicking out. Despite the pain that sometimes came with it, all of these past incidents were still something Dib could've normally dealt with. Until now though, Zim had never just gotten up and left him alone like this in the middle of the night. Something really serious must’ve been going on, and he was NOT about to stand by in case Zim needed him right now. Whether or not the alien wanted his help, Dib was going to be there for him, just as the alien had done for him not too long ago. It was the least he could do after everything they’d been through over the years. 

Though Dib was desperately trying not to let his own fears spiral out of control for Zim's sake right now, he still felt his own heart begin to hammer uncontrollably against his chest as he’d fumbled to put on his glasses and quickly crawl out of bed. In all of his haste, he’d nearly taken half of the blankets with him, only barely catching himself before he could accidentally fall flat on his face. Zim would’ve probably laughed at him for that if he were actually around. Trying not to let that little fact bother him too much, Dib instead decided to gather up one of the stray purple covers off of the floor and drag it behind him as he slipped out the bedroom door and into the main laboratory halls. 

Even after years of previous explorations, the underground had never really lost its labyrinth-like appeal to Dib. He still felt a bit intimidated by the place, no doubt, but the comforting memories of old battles and adventures overshadowed a lot of those frightening feelings. He’d experienced his entire childhood here in this base after all, and both he and Zim had changed in more ways than either could count. It was…

Nostalgic. 

As Dib turned the corner, the small, tired smile on his face completely vanished as his briefly happy trance was shattered by the scene in front of him. 

There, in front of the main computer console stood Zim, breathing quietly but rapidly as his back faced away from the human. His focus seemed stuck on the blank screen in front of him, and thin arms were wrapped around himself protectively. As Dib cautiously crept closer, he could just barely see Zim’s blank-eyed reflection in front of him, and the fact that the Irken hadn’t even seen or reacted to him coming in was a bad sign in itself. The Irken always knew EXACTLY where Dib was and what he was doing whenever they’d worked together in the labs previously… So what had changed?

“H-Hey.” Dib’s voice cracked a little as he spoke, and he’d quickly cleared his throat to try again. “Hey Spaceboy… Are you feeling alright?”  
Nothing. Zim’s breath might’ve hitched a little bit at the new voice, but he wasn’t even looking at Dib right now. He’d just kept his focus on wherever his own mind was going right now. Testing his luck, Dib decided to come up to his alien’s side, studying him carefully.  
  
 _I probably shouldn’t touch him right now. He might be dissociating, and he hates it when I do that normally sometimes. I don’t want to accidentally upset him even more._

_Just keep talking to him. Let him know you’re still here._

“I… Was kind of worried about you when I first woke up, you know. I’m so used to this green lizard snoring in my ear lately that not having it there anymore kind of freaks me out.” Dib awkwardly shifted as he spoke, rubbing the back of his head as he seemed embarrassed by the sound of his own voice right now. Usually Zim did all the talking for both of them, which was either helpful, or harmful depending on the situation. Now, Dib was on his own, and given his own past struggles with this sort of thing, he wasn’t exactly an expert in helping someone else out. Still, Zim meant a lot to him these days, even if he was still a stubborn asshole who hid his feelings all the time. Even if that wasn’t his favorite trait of Zim’s, Dib wasn’t going to turn his back on him any time soon. Especially not after so many others did that to Zim before.

  
As Dib leaned a little closer to see Zim’s face better, he’d realized with a pang that the Irken’s eyes were wet. Very few times had he EVER seen Zim cry, and never without an explanation before. Nearly stumbling over his next words, Dib forced himself to keep going with his rambles, and try not to acknowledge the elephant in the room right now. “Zim… You... know you’re not by yourself in all this, right? Look, I know what it feels like to want to escape sometimes. I know it sucks, and it’s hard, but I’m here for you now. Just… If you can hear what I’m saying right now, just breathe for me, okay? We’ll take it one step at a time until you’re ready, and then we can talk.” A twitch of the left antenna, and slightly less panicky breaths managed to be enough to signal to Dib that his words had at least somewhat gotten through. It was a sign that Zim was trying to be here with him right now. Relieved, Dib managed a cautious smile in Zim’s direction, silently attempting to reassure him that everything was going to be alright.

Yet despite his earlier worries about physical contact, Dib was increasingly beginning to understand that he couldn’t hold off any longer if they were both going to make any real progress anytime soon. Gingerly, so as not to startle the poorly alien any further, Dib reached out to grasp Zim’s gloved hand in his own and lightly squeeze. 

“It’s okay, Zim… It’s okay.” 

Though Dib expected to be immediately pushed away, or clawed for his attempts at comfort, he’d received none of that. Instead, those claws moved, slowly tightening around Dib’s own thin hand. For a long moment, the both of them stayed like that, looking at their mirrored selves. One seeing, the other a million miles away.

That was, until Zim suddenly spoke. 

"...What's wrong with me?"

"Huh?" Dib seemed a little caught off guard by the question, not having expected that to come out of the usually confident Irken's mouth at all. Had he heard that wrong? Apparently not, given Zim’s currently wilted demeanor, and how much effort he was making to avoid eye-contact right now. When he didn’t answer right away, Dib cautiously prompted him further. “Zim, what do you mean? There’s nothing-”  
  
“Don’t lie to me!” Zim’s voice suddenly seemed to pitch upwards as he interrupted Dib, his gaze never once leaving that empty screen. His shaking had worsened, and more than anything, it made the human want to put his arms around Zim and permanently shield him from whatever was hurting him so badly right now. Instead, Dib chose to quietly listen instead, amber eyes softening with sympathy.  
  
Yet Zim still seemed so caught up in his own mind, the words suddenly spilling out of him all at once with him barely being able to take a breath in between it all. “N-Normal Irkens don’t wake up screaming every other night. Normal Irkens don’t take mates. Normal Irkens d-don’t despise their own reflections every time they walk by! I’m… I’m not s’pposed to even be on this stupid planet in the first place! It’s all wrong! It’s all wrong-!" Unexpectedly, Zim started to sink down onto his knees as if a massive weight had suddenly landed itself upon his shoulders. Dib wasted no time in coming with him though, tightly embracing the little alien as the Irken suddenly buried his face into his shoulder. Tiny cries erupted from the Irken’s throat as his claws painfully dug into Dib’s shirt. All at once, Zim had completely fallen apart.  
  
It was honestly unlike anything Dib had ever witnessed from him before, especially when it came to Zim’s previous bad days, yet that didn’t stop the human from choosing to embrace him, and he began to rock his lover slowly in his arms.  
“Shh…” With each desperate struggle for air, Dib went to pet those velvety antenna back, humming quietly and hoping that somehow it would manage to ease the overwhelming stress for at least one of them. He didn’t want to admit it, but he too felt wetness escaping the corners of his gaze, and it’d honestly taken him a moment just to dig up his own voice again. “Take a breath, bud. You’ll wear yourself out… Look, I know that it’s really hard for you to trust anyone anymore lately. I get it. But if it helps you feel any better, I wasn’t lying to you back there, and I never would. You’re perfect to me, even if we drive each other crazy sometimes.” Dib drew back a little bit as he spoke, gently lifting Zim’s chin to get him to look at him.  
  


Though Zim’s berry-red eyes were puffy and swollen with tears, they each seemed to shine with the endless stars of the galaxy behind them, captivating Dib despite the current circumstances. “Listen Zim: I promise, promise, _promise_ that it’s okay to not be like them. You’ll always be better than them because you aren’t normal, even if they might never realize that about you.”  
  


Dib’s unexpectedly kind words had clearly taken Zim aback just a little bit, his upset frown faltering as his claws went to nervously fidget with the edge of his pajama top. Yet despite Dib’s efforts to hold eye contact with his alien, his head still dipped lowly. His shame in himself was still all too painfully apparent.  
  
Yet, he forced himself to speak again, his voice low and broken.  
  
“I remember… Y-You said to Zim once that it would hurt less after a while. That it would get easier with time… But it hasn’t. Instead it just gets heavier, and heavier until… I can’t _take_ it anymore. I was st-stupid… So stupid...” He’d gone to tug painfully at both his feelers all of a sudden, but Dib had quickly moved to stop that, catching Zim’s hands instead and quietly moving them back down to his lap. 

“Easy, now. You’re not stupid, Zim... Far from it. You might’ve made pretty big mistakes in the past, but what really matters now is that you’re trying to move past it. And now you’ve got better people in your life now to show you how to do that. You’ve got me, GIR, Gaz, Dad, hell even Computer. None of us are gonna leave you behind like they did, not now, and not ever. If they still can’t see the person you are now, then they don’t deserve your time.” Gently, Dib tugged him forward, their foreheads resting against one another. Soothed by the contact, Zim’s eyes drifted shut, just focusing on the feeling of closeness right now.  
  
With another gentle brush of the Irken’s slightly fuzzy antenna, Dib’s voice suddenly took on a much more nervous tone, Zim only vaguely detecting the change. “I love you, you know. I might not say it as much as I probably should, but I want you to know that. I really want you to talk to me if you’re not comfortable with… what we have, though. I know you’re still getting used to it, and-” Dib was cut off as Zim very suddenly threw his arms around him, practically squeezing him with the tightest hug he could muster. It might’ve cracked a few bones from the sheer force behind it, but Dib found himself not really caring about that. He’d gone to immediately reciprocate it, sighing in quiet relief as he’d gotten his answer.

“Thank you… Z-Zim loves you too… An’ I’m sorry I said all that bad stuff about… not needing you…”  
  
“It’s okay. Don’t apologize. You’ve had a lot to go through lately, and I’m gonna try to do better by you. Just promise me that any time you start struggling in the future, wake me up first, okay? I seriously don’t mind.”  
  
“I suppose I can do that…” Zim trailed off for a moment, seemingly lost in thought before an unexpected, slightly devilish grin slowly appeared on his face. “...Just as long as _you_ promise me that you’ll start cleaning up after yourself more. I keep finding chip bags on the floors of my labs.”  
  
“Fine, deal, just as long as you stop throwing any of my dirty clothes into the incinerator! We have a washing machine, you know!” Despite each of them feigning annoyance, sudden, tired laughter escaped them both during their little mock-argument. It felt like the earlier atmosphere was fading away as Zim’s usual, fussy alien self had finally begun to return.  
  
He’d been very much missed in the time he’d been away.  
  
“You know, it’s almost morning now. Why don’t we go make some breakfast before GIR gets to it first?” Zim eagerly nodded at this request, raising both arms up in the universal ‘ _pick me up’_ gesture. Rolling his eyes a little bit at this, Dib went to lift Zim up onto his shoulders, making his way towards the waiting elevator.  
  
“Zim demands blueberry pancakes!”  
  
“Sounds good to me.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! And thank you to everyone who supported me during the editing phase! You guys keep me going!


End file.
